I am surprised about so many things you learn in life. Caviar, my girl friend from The Bay, asked me about Plate Fixin’. I was clueless since that term can mean anything; fine China, earthquakes, fixing your teeth etc. She sent me to ESPN where Michael Smith & Jemele Hill have a podcast about this subject matter (Plate Fixin’). I never got around to listening to it.
This past weekend, Caviar and Punto (homey from Las Vegas) visited me and I followed up with her about it. Plate Fixin’ premise is when a couple goes to a BBQ or dinner party and his woman doesn’t want to fix her man a plate of food. A woman, who neither of them knows, offers to make a food plate for him. It seems harmless, right? But then you starting reaching into the dark corners of your mind and these questions come up:
- Is this random woman trying to be nice or is there an ulterior motive?
- Should the woman be offended that another woman is fixing her man a plate?
- Is the dude thinking that the woman is flirting?
- Would I be mad if another man was feeding my woman?
- Is this code for “Do you want some pussy [or dick]?”
I’m amazed that this is a “THING” that we need to discuss because it seems so trivial. The funny part in the podcast is that Michael Smith said the people who worry about this are not likely in relationships (“petty” was used several times). I would agree with him.
Caviar brought up a real life scenario in her life. She and her boyfriend once visited a friend of hers. The guy friend was driving them around; Caviar sitting in shotgun and her boyfriend in back. The driver was starving so he stopped to grab take out. To make it to their destination in a timely manner, the driver requested Caviar feed him while he drove. She said she got a earful from her boyfriend later on. He brought up “How do you think it makes me feel watching you feed another man?” Needless to say the relationship did not last (his loss).
I’ll let you all gather your thoughts while you marinate on that. I cannot speak for everyone else, but I will answer some of these questions for myself.
Q1 – Is this random woman trying to be nice or is there an ulterior motive?
A1 – I think 99.99% of the time the person is being nice. There is no ulterior motive.
Q2 – Should the woman be offended that another woman is fixing her man a plate?
A2 – If she is insecure with herself, she is plotting your death. If she is secure with herself, no.
Q3 – Is the dude thinking that the woman is flirting?
A3 – Absolutely!! Dudes think EVERYONE is flirting with them, but they are really not. Sorry to burst your bubble, but maybe with me??
Q4 – Would I be mad if another man was feeding my woman?
A4 – This would never happen because I would always make my woman a plate if she requested it. But in a scenario where I have two broken arms, I would be fine if another man makes my woman a plate. Or if she was at a party without me and another man giver her food; I would be okay too. My woman knows what’s in my heart … and my pants. When I say pants, I mean my dick. #DickEnergy
Q5 – Is this code for “Do you want some pussy [or dick]?”
A5 – If you believe Chris Rock, then YES!! Other than that people are just being friendly. Don’t see more into than there needs to be.
The second part of the Plate Fixin’ podcast was about a list of advice that a father recently gives to his son. The one relevant advice is “You can tell the size of a man by the size of things that bother him.” If you are worried about Plate Fixin’ or your woman feeding another man then that speaks volumes about you. Nothing is more unattractive and a relationship burden than jealousy and insecurity. Michael Smith said it right earlier, if this is an issue for you then it’s likely you are not in a relationship. I’ll take it further, you are not ready for a relationship. If you are worried about small petty things, you are not ready to face REAL relationship problems. Secure people understand the big picture of relationships. Take some time to think about that.
I hope you enjoyed this column and please make sure to Don’t Suck At Life!! AND, I have no problems fixing a plate for you and your armless boyfriend.
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