Another Session Of The TRP Love Advice Column – S3E57

Another Session Of The TRP Love Advice Column

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TRP listener and friend, “Ross,” contacted the TRP a few weeks ago. Ross needed love advice regarding someone he loves and could see himself spending the rest of his life with. His issues are topics that the TRP have discussed before, but in real life issues tend be multilayered. The TRP doctors attempt to provide love advice issue by issue.

Another Session Of The TRP Love Advice Column Outline

In Ross’s words …

I’m in love with a girl. We have been in a long-distance relationship for a year now; “Rachel” lives in West Virginia and I reside in California. I met her at my cousin’s wedding; her best friend married my cousin. We fell hard for each at their wedding and our relationship blossomed soon after that. We traveled to be with each other as much as we could from that point on.

However, the long-distance was taking a toll on our relationship. We had discussions regarding moving to be with each other, but it does not seem right for us right now. Rachel does not want to leave her family in West Virginia; though she does not rule out doing so in the future. It would be difficult for me to leave California because I have a home here and also my dog. This really bummed me out because I was confident we would be married within a year’s time if one of us did move.

Sometime in February, I freaked out. We ended up mutually agreeing to breaking up. I felt like I was being impulsive and did not completely think it through. At the time, I thought we should break up because one of us will eventually get hurt as the long-distance takes its toll.

A month later, I still feel Rachel is the greatest woman I’ve come across. I consider myself to be a macho man and don’t express my feelings very well. I reached out recently to express myself because I do not want to give up on what we have. It takes two people to work it out. Rachel told me she is in pain about how things were and are now. Am I being dumb? I feel in my heart this is The One and I’m afraid of being 80 years old on my deathbed regretting just saying bye.

Is it illogical or stupid to carry on then, without a plan at the moment? Love is love, and sometimes it punches you in the gut. It’s been a wild ride and my therapist asked me if I regret it. I’m willing to continue the long-distance relationship even though I know it will be tough. I’ll have to see what she says.

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This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

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Does Society Today Take Freedom of Speech Too Far? – S3E56

Does Society Today Take Freedom Of Speech Too Far?

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Ryan considers me the comedic troll of the TRP trio. It’s all good and fun, but Ryan feels things can get awkward and out of hand at times. Hence, the many times he says “WOW.” In today’s episode, we talk about the impact of freedom of speech and how it elicits issues today. Ryan found an article from Polygon, Steam Game About Raping Women Will Test Valve’s Hand-Off Approach, about the stance PC Game Publisher Platform Stream maintains in regards to freedom of speech. This is the result of a game release called ‘Rape Day’ produced by Desk Lamp, which was being reviewed for distribution. Rape Day is a game where the gamer plays a rapist. Many media outlets and netizens have strong opinions on this game.

Does Society Today Take Freedom of Speech Too Far? Outline

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You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

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This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

What Piece of Advice Would TheRelationshiPodcast Offer? – S3E55

What Piece of Advice Would TheRelationshiPodcast Offer?

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In this episode, TheRelationshiPodcast gives advice to people that write in. The big disclaimer is that they did not write in to us. Yes, we will be giving our 2-cents on all your love problems whether you like it or not. Doctor Ryan, Drey, and John are in the building.

What Piece of Advice Would TheRelationshiPodcast Offer? Outline

  • He Turned Into A Pen Pal
      • Summary: Hot intense relationship slowly fizzles.
      • Question: Where does this go from here?
      • Submitted by: Pen pals
  • One Thing Led To Another …
      • Summary: First sexual experience with a friend.
      • Question: Did I ruin a good friendship by sleeping with him?
      • Submitted by: Poked The Bear
  • I Don’t Wish Them The Best
      • Summary: Did so much for him and he leaves me.
      • Question: Is it bad of me to be extremely bitter about this breakup?
      • Submitted by: Bitter
  • I Kissed My Friend’s Boyfriend
      • Summary: I kissed my friends boyfriend.
      • Question: What do I do now?
      • Submitted by: Idiotic Girl
  • Resource Reads:

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

The Doctor Wants To Know If You Have The Disney Syndrome? – S3E54

The Doctor Wants To Know If You Have The Disney Syndrome?

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Dr. Drey, TRP in-house doctor, has been dying to talk about the “Disney Syndrome” again. The Disney Syndrome is the result of overexposure to fantasy. The infected cannot determine the lines between fantasy and reality. In relationships, this is known as the hopeless romantic. We all know friend(s) that have the Disney Syndrome. Some people find it endearing, but is it really healthy to be overly romantic? Before we get into that, let’s cover some other ground first.

The Doctor Wants To Know If You Have The Disney Syndrome? Outline

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You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

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This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

Relationship Trap Questions People Should Look Out For? – S3E53

Are There Some Relationship Trap Questions People Should Look Out For?

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While driving back to NorCal from SoCal, Ryan and his girlfriend played the game Fuck, Marry, and Kill. One thing that stood out was how dangerous the game could be if family members were mentioned in the mix (e.g. Ryan’s girlfriend asked him which of HER sisters he would F.M.K.?) Ryan looked online and found a lot of dangerous questions. So let’s get into this topic.

Relationship Trap Questions People Should Look Out For? Outline

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You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

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This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

When Couples Decide To Move In With Each Other? – S3E52

When Couples Decide To Move In With Each Other?

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I am the resident old guy of this group. One thing that I have never done is live with a girlfriend. In episode 50 Do You Have A Guide To Tackling Life Transitions?, we discussed “Becoming an adult.” I mentioned that I will never been an adult. I consider living with your partner as becoming an adult because a couple is sharing a home and responsibilities together. It is also a step or leap into likely marriage. Ryan and Andrey lives with their partners so I thought I might pick their brains about the topic. This may be informative for those that are thinking about living with their partners.

When Couples Decide To Move In With Each Other? Outline

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

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This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

Shuffle Around Life: Chapter 6 (Q, 7, 7), The Real TRP Single Life Ending and Transitional Period

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello TRP crew, it’s been a hot minute. Since the past couple of podcast episodes, I’ve been alluding to this idea of being happy with someone new. In the original series, I thought the person I met earlier, would be the one I would build a relationship with. Sadly, it was a false positive and like most video games they usually have a bad ending and a “true ending.” I’m now presenting you the events leading to the true ending of the Single Life (and I guess the revised expanded version of the Shuffle Around Life)…

*September 2018*

I wrote what would’ve been the final chapter of the TRP Single Life. Started dating someone, I thought I could build a relationship with. We did the usual stuff like any couple, discuss work, had dinner dates, and contemplated about the future. There were moments where all this stuff, felt very comfortable. On autumn afternoon after a particular festival we parted ways. I felt a bit weird about this recent meetup, maybe it was the “dating spider sense” people usually have before the inevitable break up occurs.

One day of not talking turned into two, then a week, and eventually almost two months. I was ghosted on, confused, and literally didn’t know what to say or feel. I shouldn’t be surprised, many of the previous dates left with a similar impression. The outcome of the relationship and the impact it had on my thinking lingered for a bit. I thought to myself. “How was this any different?” It gave me a lot to think about and my professional life also started competing in my daily priorities….

*October 2018/November 2018*

Between Halloween to the First of November was a strange time. I knew I was back in the market (single once more) we had done a few more episodes, one on Indecisiveness and the other on the 5 Love Languages. While finishing production on these episodes, it got me thinking of the elements in this last one that was full of nonsense. Out of nowhere a phone call rung frantically one evening, I didn’t recognize the number and let it go to voicemail. It was her “The Fake Ending aka The Ghoster” she nonchalantly reintroduced herself and began going on a diatribe about how she thought about this and that, because of some “false positive” test results she got due to her work environment issues and more. I refused to entertain it, I merely responded, “You didn’t give me the time of day and I’m over it.” I blocked her number, deleted all of the pictures and moved on with my life.

For the first time, in a while I was ready to give up the search completely. I looked over contingency plans, in the event certain milestone events didn’t happen in my life. It was time to go to Plan C and so it began, in the meantime during my professional life, everything was busier than ever…

*November 2018-December 2018*

My birthday occurred, had a nice little getaway to the East Coast, hung out with friends and worked through the holidays. It was at this moment, I began to let go of any expectation settling down. There were more important things to worry about and the next several months were a good indicator of that. After Christmas and well into the New Year one of the things, I began to think more about was my immediate future. Whether or not living in my current place was the way to go or I needed to move elsewhere. Either way these weren’t easy decisions and the next chapter of my life proved to be the most difficult (and ambiguous one) to live up after just yet…

*January 2019*

Literally four months after, I decided to slowly ease my way back into the dating world once more, going through the motions. At this point when you reach your 30s, dating priorities shift for many people. You’re over the whole idea of chasing the ideal mate, you have a bit more practicality. As a guy, you’re literally at in the range of folks who are starting to realize who they are personally and professionally. Mid 20s-Mid 30s, people are also looking to settle down and not try to bog down with the whole mentality of “playing games.” Everyone is a bit more aggressive in their dating search (especially those who desire kids), this isn’t something to be taken lightly because of the biological factors that come into play. More people also start giving less fucks, because you’re too tired to please everyone and you want to be content for yourself (and those supportive around you). I was content and I had a somewhat steady life, that is until one fateful night. It started out like any other night, got home from work, was watching Youtube and then a possibility to meet someone new. Sure enough, one hour got into two and the rest of the evening flew by….

When date #2 came around, things were a bit more different. The stakes felt higher and the emotions ran deep (no this isn’t a euphemism for sex John in case you’re reading) and slowly I realize this is what it feels like to truly find someone you’re compatible with. At the moment, I didn’t know what else to expect but to go with the flow in the chain of events and afterwards…

*Fast Forward to Present Day*

We’re both pretty happy with one another, we’ve discussed a lot in the short amount of time and have taken strides to getting to know each other on a deeper and more emotional level as each day passes. It still feels pretty surreal looking back after everything. This is only the beginning and within the past four months so much has shifted. She’s been quite the supportive lady and has helped me built a new definition of what an adult foundation would look like. We have many more days/weeks/years, to learn about one another but if there’s one thing I’m grateful for, it’s this second opportunity to make things work. Thank you sweetie for everything that you do and I looking forward to learning and growing with you, each and every step of the way.

-R.M.

 

Is There Any Difference Between Being A Hoe Or A Fuckboy? – S3E49

Is There Any Difference Between A Hoe Or A Fuckboy?

 

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What a hoe? What a fuckboy? In episode 47 How To Deal With Toxic Behavior And Shit Testing?, we brushed on the topic of dishonesty. There seems to be a dishonest nature of hoes and fuckboys especially in terms of dating and relationships. In this episode, we talk about hoes and fuckboys in the nature of relationships.  

Is There Any Difference Between Being A Hoe Or A Fuckboy? Outline

  • Hoes – Hoes are people that sleep around and have multiple partners at the same time.What are key indicators of a hoe?Can someone be a hoe if no sex is involved?
    • Does sleeping around fall under the umbrella of “dating?”
    • What is the end goal for someone that sleeps around?
    • “You can never turn a hoe into a wife.” You can also substitute wife for husband. Do you have any Thots on this statement?
    • Is a hoe just looking for the right one that will change her hoe lifestyle?
  • Fuckboy – There are 2 definitions of fuckboy. From 2002 to 2014, a fuckboy is a loser that does dumb shit. From 2017 to now, a fuckboy is a man that sleeps with women without the intention of having a relationship with them. Fuckboys existed way before this term was coined. In former eras, they were called philanderer, don juan, lothario, womanizer, and player.Timeline of a Fuckboy2002 – Cam’ron “Boy Boy”
      • 2004 – TI & DJ Drama “99 Problemz (But A Lil’ Flip Ain’t One)” Freestyle
      • 2008 – Othorized F.A.M “Fuckboy”
      • 2009 – DJ Paul “Fuckboy”
      • 2014 – Run The Jewels “Oh My Darling Don’t Cry”
      • 2017 – Fuckboy definition evolved to what it is today.
    • Our dating outlook is influenced by our past relationships. What happens to a woman’s outlook on men when they have dated a fuckboy?
    • Can you blame women when they think all men are dogs?
    • Is a fuckboy just looking for the right one that will change his fuckboy lifestyle?
    • Do you think there is a dishonest nature of hoes and fuckboys?
    • Are hoes and fuckboys one in the same?
    • Do you think that going through a Hoe/Fuckboy Phase is actually good?
  • Resource Reads:Going Through A Hoe Phase Could Really Be Good For You

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

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This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

1.13 The Don’t Suck At Life: Do You Fix Someone A Plate?

Do You Fix Someone A Plate

I am surprised about so many things you learn in life. Caviar, my girl friend from The Bay, asked me about Plate Fixin’. I was clueless since that term can mean anything; fine China, earthquakes, fixing your teeth etc. She sent me to ESPN where Michael Smith & Jemele Hill have a podcast about this subject matter (Plate Fixin’). I never got around to listening to it.

This past weekend, Caviar and Punto (homey from Las Vegas) visited me and I followed up with her about it. Plate Fixin’ premise is when a couple goes to a BBQ or dinner party and his woman doesn’t want to fix her man a plate of food. A woman, who neither of them knows, offers to make a food plate for him. It seems harmless, right? But then you starting reaching into the dark corners of your mind and these questions come up:

  • Is this random woman trying to be nice or is there an ulterior motive?
  • Should the woman be offended that another woman is fixing her man a plate?
  • Is the dude thinking that the woman is flirting?
  • Would I be mad if another man was feeding my woman?
  • Is this code for “Do you want some pussy [or dick]?”

I’m amazed that this is a “THING” that we need to discuss because it seems so trivial. The funny part in the podcast is that Michael Smith said the people who worry about this are not likely in relationships (“petty” was used several times). I would agree with him.

Caviar brought up a real life scenario in her life. She and her boyfriend once visited a friend of hers. The guy friend was driving them around; Caviar sitting in shotgun and her boyfriend in back. The driver was starving so he stopped to grab take out. To make it to their destination in a timely manner, the driver requested Caviar feed him while he drove. She said she got a earful from her boyfriend later on. He brought up “How do you think it makes me feel watching you feed another man?” Needless to say the relationship did not last (his loss).

I’ll let you all gather your thoughts while you marinate on that. I cannot speak for everyone else, but I will answer some of these questions for myself.

Q1 – Is this random woman trying to be nice or is there an ulterior motive?
A1 – I think 99.99% of the time the person is being nice. There is no ulterior motive.

Q2 – Should the woman be offended that another woman is fixing her man a plate?
A2 – If she is insecure with herself, she is plotting your death. If she is secure with herself, no.

Q3 – Is the dude thinking that the woman is flirting?
A3 – Absolutely!! Dudes think EVERYONE is flirting with them, but they are really not. Sorry to burst your bubble, but maybe with me??

Q4 – Would I be mad if another man was feeding my woman?
A4 – This would never happen because I would always make my woman a plate if she requested it. But in a scenario where I have two broken arms, I would be fine if another man makes my woman a plate. Or if she was at a party without me and another man giver her food; I would be okay too. My woman knows what’s in my heart … and my pants. When I say pants, I mean my dick. #DickEnergy

Q5 – Is this code for “Do you want some pussy [or dick]?”
A5 – If you believe Chris Rock, then YES!! Other than that people are just being friendly. Don’t see more into than there needs to be.

The second part of the Plate Fixin’ podcast was about a list of advice that a father recently gives to his son. The one relevant advice is “You can tell the size of a man by the size of things that bother him.” If you are worried about Plate Fixin’ or your woman feeding another man then that speaks volumes about you. Nothing is more unattractive and a relationship burden than jealousy and insecurity. Michael Smith said it right earlier, if this is an issue for you then it’s likely you are not in a relationship. I’ll take it further, you are not ready for a relationship. If you are worried about small petty things, you are not ready to face REAL relationship problems. Secure people understand the big picture of relationships. Take some time to think about that.

I hope you enjoyed this column and please make sure to Don’t Suck At Life!! AND, I have no problems fixing a plate for you and your armless boyfriend.

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

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Why Relationships Are Difficult Explained by Stan Tatkin – S3E48

Why Relationships Are Difficult Explained by Stan Tatkin

 

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The nerd in Drey has him turning to science for episode 48. Stan Tatkin is a Doctor of Psychology and Marriage and runs his own Family Therapist clinical practice in Calabasas. 2 years ago, he explained why relationships are difficult on TEDxTalk. The theory is that we have 2 different levels of cognitive decision making, which are ambassadors and primitives. Ambassadors are the logic, reason, high level organization part of the brain. Primitives are simple decisions that we can make on autopilot. For example, knee jerk reactions and/or fight or flight kind of decisions are primitives. As we gain knowledge through our lives, the things we learned are move from ambassador to primitive. We do the same thing when we fall in love. Once the honeymoon phase is over, anything that deviation from our understanding is viewed as a threat by our primitives. That is how fights begin.

Why Relationships Are Difficult Explained by Stan Tatkin Outline

  • What are you first reactions to this theory?
  • Reflecting on your past relationships with this idea in mind, can you think of any situations where you felt this happen?
  • Have you ever gotten into a fight with the person that you are dating and do not know how the fight got blown out of proportion?
    • Dr. Tatkin believes that primitives and ambassadors work concurrently to fight. Primitives begin their fighting stance. Ambassadors are then pushed into decision making too quickly without all the rational information to make an informed decision. What are your thoughts on this?
  • Our primitive mind is simplistic and categorizes things as benign or a threat. If it is benign, we just keep moving along because there are no danger signs. However, if it is a threat, the body and mind want to react. This is why Tatkin says, “Human relationships can survive fights. Human relationships cannot survive the loss of safety and security.” Do you believe this is true?
  • How do you prefer to have an argument with your partner? By text, video chat, phone, or face to face?
    • Stan says the best way to fight is face to face. The reason for this is because eye contact helps to regulate and diffuse neurological synapses–it calms each other down. Your visual indicators, eyes, help your mind determine whether the person is actually a threat or giving you a false positive. Do you feel like arguments work out better when you are face to face versus the other methods?
  • Resource Reads:

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

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This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”