Roommate Issues, Marry Me Now, Used For Sex – S3E68

Roommate Issues, Marry Me Now, Used For Sex

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Podcast episode 68 is titled Roommate Issues, Marry Me Now, Used For Sex. TheRelationshiPodcast gives advice to people that write in. The big disclaimer is that they did not write in to us. Yes, we will be giving our 2-cents on all your love problems whether you like it or not. Doctor Ryan, Drey, and John are in the building.

Roommate Issues, Marry Me Now, Used For Sex Outline

*Please be advised that S3E69 will be the last episode of the TRP forever (Releasing 07/01/19)

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

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Modern Morals, Would You Rather, Wedding Traditions – S3E67

Modern Morals, Would You Rather, Wedding Traditions

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Podcast episode 67 is titled Modern Morals, Would You Rather, Wedding Traditions. I discuss people’s view on morals today, Drey runs through some “Would You Rather …” relationship scenarios, and Ryan speaks on wedding traditions.

Modern Morals, Would You Rather, Wedding Traditions Outline

  • J Topic: Public Opinion on Morals Today
    • I was reading an article from the Pew Research Center on modern morals (A Barometer Of Modern Morals). Pew Research Center took a surveyed on 10 behaviors to determine if it was morally wrong. I will only focus on 3 of them.
    • Married people having an affair.
      • Morally wrong: 88%
      • Morally acceptable: 3%
      • Not a moral issue: 7%
      • Depends: 1%
      • Don’t know: 1%
      • Q1 Any surprises here?
      • Q2 Would these results differ if the person was separated?
    • Telling a lie to spare someone’s feelings
      • Morally wrong: 43%
      • Morally acceptable: 23%
      • Not a moral issue: 26%
      • Depends: 6%
      • Don’t know: 2%
      • Q1 Any surprises here?
      • Q2 Any scenarios that you think it would be morally acceptable to lie?
    • Sex between unmarried adults
      • Morally wrong: 35%
      • Morally acceptable: 22%
      • Not a moral issue: 37%
      • Depends: 2%
      • Don’t know: 4%
      • Q1 Any surprises here?
      • Q2 Does anybody really care anymore if people are unmarried and fornicating?
  • A Topic: Would You Rather …
    • Last weeks episode was dark so I thought we should do a fun and lighthearted one. When I’m drinking with my friends, we love playing “Would you rather…” It’s simply a game where you come up with a hard hypothetical decision and ask your friends what they would do in that situation. It’s not only a fun game, but you learn a lot about the people that you play with. You see how they think and what they prioritize. In the game, you have to choose 1 of the answers and give your explanation as to why you chose that way.
      • Would you rather …
        • Be in a bad relationship for the rest of your life, or never have another partner again for the rest of your life?
        • Have a jealous partner that is willing to be your complete sugar mama, or have a trusting partner that you share all responsibilities with 50/50?
        • Date attractive but stupid or unattractive but intelligent? By unattractive, I simply mean someone that you are 0% attracted to.
        • Find true love, or find a suitcase with $20M?
  • R Topic: A Variety of Wedding Traditions
    • For those of you who saw the IG stories, Kundai (friend of the Podcast and guest host on our Facebook Dating Episode) now getting ready to get married. Being the best man, I wanted to prepare and see if there were any wedding rituals people do today (besides the bachelor/bachelorette party of course covered in this episode) and here’s what I came up with.
    • What type of wedding traditions are important in your culture?
    • What’s the coolest (and/or weirdest) wedding tradition you’ve been apart of?
    • What’s one traditional wedding tradition you’d change?
  • Resource Reads:

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

Shuffle Around Life: Chapter 14 (Wildcard): The Best Man Speech and Reflection

What’s up Shuffle Around Life Readers!

This is a super late post but for good reason, a lot of what’s been going on this past week was tied to a great friend of mine Kundai and guest host of the podcast. I was asked to become the best man and like all best men before me, had to write a speech about why my best friend (and his now wife) are such an awesome duo.

So for those who weren’t in attendance but would like to get a hint as to what I wrote, here it is, please enjoy…

 

 

 

“8.2 Seconds *pause*, that’s how long it takes for a man to fall in love. Don’t Google it now (put your phones away), it’ll kill my speech and some of you will drunkenly berate me later for providing fake news. I’m just kidding.

However there is some ring of truth to that, when I first met Kundai it took 10 seconds before we offered each other a beer. Ever since then, many more drinks and discussions were had, all thanks to our adventures in life.

Kundai is quite the character, he is a contrarian and is self-proclaimed as ‘fly’ with his sense of style and knowledge of botany. He roams the earth to uncover the beautiful details of nature, even if it means going off the beaten path once in a while. Speaking of path, it wasn’t until one day he told me crossed paths with a lovely lady named Clarissa that his world started to slowly change.  Clarissa’s vibe totally complimented Kundai and in some cases amplified the love they shared with the world at large.

Both have confided to me, on separate occasions that one wouldn’t be able to live without the other. It was then, I knew that somehow this would evolve into a beautiful union of kindred spirits. Thank you Kundai for being an amazing friend (and brother) to me all these years. Clarissa, I am thrilled to consider you my newfound sister in in this journey we call life. I’d like to end this speech to a toast to everyone in attendance, the family and friends who are here with us far and wide. Bonds that are revisited and hopefully renewed, as Oscar Wilde once put:

“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation. “

Btw, Kundai thanks for finally admitting that I am the best man!

 

Understanding, Jealousy, Gaslighting – S3E66

Understanding, Jealousy, Gaslighting

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Podcast episode 66 is titled Understanding, Jealousy, Gaslighting. I debate if understanding is more important than communication, Andrey wants to get into a deeper depth on jealousy, and Ryan wants to explore gaslighting.

Understanding, Jealousy, Gaslighting Outline

  • J Topic: Is Understanding More Important Than Communication?
    • I saw one of those social media posts the other day that made me think about this topic. I could not find it again, but basically it said that understanding is more important than communication in relationships. You can communicate with someone frequently, but sometimes people just don’t get it; they don’t understand. I’m sure some of you have encountered this before in personal relationships or worked related situations.
    • A prime example of this is the situation with Moby and Natalie Portman. Moby came out with a book “Then It Fell Apart.” In the book, Moby asserted that he dated Natalie. However, she vehemently denies this. Natalie stated  that they hung out a few times, but never dated.
    • So was Moby friendzoned in this situation? The debate between “dated” vs “we hung out.”
    • Do you think that understanding is more important than communication in relationships?
    • The flipside of this is maybe one person is doing a poor job of effectively communicating what they need. Do you guys have any suggestions on how one can effectively tell someone what they need?
  • A Topic: I Do Not Think You Are Ready For This Jelly.
    • I want to follow up on last week’s discussion. We touched very briefly on jealousy and it seemed like we had differing opinions on what jealousy is and how acceptable it is. So I came up with a few more questions to see if we can cover a little more ground.
      • One of the blogs on the dating site, Zoosk, defines jealousy as the fear of losing something, while envy is the desire to have something that someone else has. Would you agree with this definition? Why or why not?
      • In last week’s episode, I mentioned that jealousy is rooted in insecurity. Do you believe that’s the case or are there some situations where jealousy is reasonable?
      • Is there any advice you would give to someone who knows they’re the jealous type but wants to stop?
  • R Topic: What Should I Do About Gaslighting?
    • Gaslighting is a frequently searched term on Google Trends. Gaslighting is manipulating someone psychologically by questioning their own sanity. I personally have not heard of this term until most recently. So after doing some reading and reflecting, I wanted the rest of the team to chime in on this topic:
      • Have you ever experienced gaslighting?
      • Why does it seem that men gaslight women than the opposite?
      • How would you deal with someone who gaslights you in the workforce?
  • Resource Reads:

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

Shuffle Around Life: Chapter 13 (4, A, K): Patience Is A Virtue

 

What’s up TRP Shuffle Around Life Readers!

Today’s topic was inspired about the current life transition and my time waiting for my meal. You see, in life there are moments where you have to practice patience. You need to be patience waiting in line to be served, while you’re waiting for an Amazon Package, or even finding someone that means the world to you. Whatever it is you’re waiting for, the currency as expressed in the last article is time (which I would highly suggest you read). One thing I noticed is, there are people in my life who are very impatient. They want everything at a moment’s notice, because if you don’t get it done it’s all excuses from there. However I’ll argue that there are some things worth being very impatient for and other things are pointless and it makes me wonder like, “Why waste your energy and effort on it?”

via GIPHY

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not to say I don’t have my days (we’re all human) but there are certain things that you are forced to be patient with and cannot rush. For example…

  • Following the rules of the road when driving on the highway or streets (people in Asia or road racers may disagree with this one).
    • The ticket fines are high and it will raise a premium on your insurance the more tickets you acquire
  • Waiting for a cake to bake (we all know that one person, who wanted to eat the cake immediately).
    • With all things it must take time for the cake to rise, settle, and cool down.
  • Delivering a baby.
    • All the mothers who have listened (or have gone through delivering a baby) understands the time it takes cannot be rushed. If you ever rush a woman, well be forwarned it ain’t going to be pretty
  • And etc.

The problem lies, when people have varying attitudes on gray areas of things in life that no patience can surmount. Let’s start with the following:

  • Lingering Medical Conditions (sans Baby Delivery), at some point you need to see a doctor.
    • Some have more serious issues than others, but if your anxious you may demand to see a doctor immediately as opposed to waiting 3-4 weeks (like I am at the moment).
  • Some Restaurant Experiences
    • This is very subjective perspective, my lady won’t wait for an overhyped hipster restaurant but I might, because something piqued my curiosity and I want to see it through. This also goes with fine dining experiences or eating with those who treat everything like an Instagram/Food & Wine  Photoshoot at the dining table.
  • Career Advancement and Professional Development
    • Again another very subjective. Some may be ready to do management but your management may disagree with ‘roadblock’ your step up the ladder. Jobs that you apply will acknowledge your skill but aren’t willing to pay the price (or better yet, sneak in free consulting, to save time and money on a candidate). Whatever the case may be it can be very frustrating when you feel you’re on a timeline and tomorrow is not promised.

I bring up these points because I’d like to believe I’ve been very, VERY, patient with how life is going. Do I wish for certain things to be done faster? Absolutely. Is it going to take a lot of effort and time? Fuck yeah.

As an individual, there’s only so much waiting and sitting idle you can do until you need to make a move. I’ve been doing things in the background to prepare for this next step. It’s not easy but everything comes with a price just as Thanos knows and soon you’ll achieve progress (or in this case, deadly success).

via MEME

Enjoy the weekend folks!

-R of the TRP

Sharing A Room, Social Media Posts, Sacrifice – S3E64

Sharing A Room, Social Media Posts, Sacrifice

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In podcast episode 64, it is titled Sharing A Room, Social Media Posts, Sacrifice. I want to discuss if there is etiquette for sharing rooms, Andrey dives into social media oversharing, and Ryan wants to talk about sacrifice.

Sharing A Room, Social Media Posts, Sacrifice Outline

  • J Topic: Hey, So Can We Share A Room?
      • When we were college students, we did not have a lot of disposable income (unless that FInancial Aid check cleared). So if a group went on vacation, a shared room was commonplace. Now that we are 30 or 40-somethings, is this no longer an acceptable practice?
        • Scenario 1: In my late 30s, one of my friend’s suggested that we get our own rooms for a guys Vegas trip. Reasoning was because we were adults, it’s weird that guys share a bed, and we can afford to do so now.
          • What are your thoughts on this?
        • Scenario 2: My girlfriend was on a trip with her girlfriends and a male friend (late 50s) asked to stay with them. They agreed, but my girlfriend thought it was inappropriate.
          • How do you guys feel about this?
        • Scenario 3: Going to Chicago with some friends (1 guy and 1 lady). We discussed getting a room together–2 beds. Because this has been on my mind lately I told him that it would be fine if I got my own room in case the female does not feel comfortable sharing a room. He asked me “Do women get weirded out by that?”
          • Was I right about suggesting that?
        • Scenario 4: Spur of the moment trip to visit you–out-of-town friend(s).
          • If they ask you to stay at your place, do you allow it?
          • If you go visit friends, do you ask to stay at their place?
        • Are we at a place in our lives now that we should all pay for own lodging instead of share?
  • A Topic: Should I Have Posted That?
      • Like I said in my positive note, I went off-roading this weekend. What I didn’t mention was part of the reason for the trip was because I needed to do a photoshoot for work. Because of the nature of what I shoot, I’m unable to release the photos or post them on social media in any way. It doesn’t really bother me because I tend not to post anyway, for better or worse. But, I know that a lot of people struggle with this. So, I figured we should talk about it.
      • Have you ever posted something on social media that you realized afterwards wasn’t appropriate?
      • Like I mentioned on previous episodes, I only post vacation pictures while I’m on the vacation if I have someone watching my house. Do you ever feel like it’s a problem when people know where you are? Do you take any preventative measures to secure yourself from those that may want to do you harm?
      • How do you feel about parents that constantly post pictures of their kids along with their names? Do you feel that this is dangerous, or just a sign of the times?
      • Are there any other social media faux pas that you can think of that piss you off?
  • R Topic: What’s The Definition Of Sacrifice In 2019?

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

Shuffle Around Life: Chapter 12 (A, K, Q): Learning to Say NO (a tight rope perspective) When Necessary

Hello TRP Shuffle Around Life Readers!

Here’s something that’s been on my mind for a while and needed to vent about this and it’s about the importance of Saying No, to things.

You see in recent years, even with my “transition” there are things I do outside of writing columns, conducting analysis, troubleshooting and more on the TRP like everyone else. One thing that’s made me very certain is an essential life skill is SAYING NO WHEN NECESSARY.

What do I mean for this?

Everyone is familiar with the concept of time and how it’s probably the single most valuable asset you have as a human being. Let’s break down how this looks….

The breakdown will be by day, year, and week (all adhering within a 24 hour period):

In a Single Day:

  • 86400 Seconds
  • 1440 Minutes
  • 24 Hours

In a Single Week (7x the values):

  • 604800 Seconds
  • 10080 Minutes
  • 168 Hours
  • 7 Days

In a Single Year: (52x previous values):

  • 31,449,600 Seconds
  • 524, 160 Minutes
  • 8,736 Hours
  • 365 Days* (366, give or take a day or two because of leap year and axial tilt/speed)
  • 52 Weeks
  • 12 Months
  • 1 Year

***

*(Reading this post will probably take 2-3 minutes at most and for that, I am truly grateful for you sharing your time with me)

All these increments should give you an idea of how much time is so valuable. And yet, with everything going on in your daily life you have to wonder, is there really time to do everything you ever wanted in your lifetime? The answer is no, NO, no, NO. You will be pulled in all kinds of directions and a lot of times, what you will fulfill for one party will not make the other happy.

Recently, I’ve been going through that, working on this podcast, working on another side project, handling property management, and then of course career hunting. All of these balls juggling in the air, the answer should be relatively simple, focus on the things that matter to you (and are a priority). Furthermore, the more pragmatic approach is, focus on things that have an ROI (personal, professional, emotional, or financial). The problem with this is what you may think is ROI , people will ALWAYS DISAGREE WITH YOUR PRIORITIES and you deem is ROI. They will make their case and claim why their priorities are much more important than your own. THEY WILL NOT CARE, REMAIN SELFISH, AND CAN ONLY LOOK AT THINGS OBJECTIVELY WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN FOR THEM.

For those who see it in this matter, I say a big FUCK YOU. I’ve always tried to understand it from the other side of the picture. In fact, if tomorrow weren’t guaranteed and any of my colleagues or friends (can’t move forward with me). I will not hold them to it walking away and diverting on what’s important to them, that’s just a fact of life.

Do you need money to support yourself but your passion project isn’t doing shit for you?

Take a step back and take the time needed to re-evaluate, before jumping back on the horse.

Are you slammed at work in that you don’t have time to do any creative stuff on the side?

Don’t trip, recharge and come back when you’re ready. The difference between working for a paycheck versus working for a passion, is the willingness to put in as much as you can even without stability.

However for those I didn’t mean to hurt (or de-prioritize) and had to say NO to, I am deeply Sorry. It was never an easy option and quite frankly if it were, then chances are I don’t care about you as much as you think I do.

Majority of the time, people would rather do passion work that provides a sense of security in their lifestyle (and perception(s)) in society. However majority of the world, doesn’t have that luxury to exercise such an approach. People take unstable jobs just to pay the bills. Whereas the wealthiest individuals own as much as half of the poorest of the entire world’s population.

Overall, people should be more understanding of each other’s time and priorities in one’s life. When you do realize this need for compassion, you’ll realize that even your impact in the world is but a millimeter of a Domino in the entire universe’s history of existence.

-RM

Dating Death, Dealing With An Ex, Partner Reassurance – S3E63

Dating Death, Dealing With An Ex, Partner Reassurance

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Welcome to episode 63! In podcast episode 63, I want to discuss relationships with people in the industry of death, Andrey dives into dealing with your exes, and Ryan wants to talk about partner reassurance.

Dating Death, Dealing With An Ex, Partner Reassurance Outline

  • J Topic: Dating Someone In The Business Of Death
    • In episode 62, Ryan discussed Creepy Jobs. It made me think about people who work in these industries. What is their dating life like compared to everyone else? Is it really that much different?
      • How much of a concern should another person’s career be if you want to date them?
      • Do you think there is a misconception about people that work with death (morticians, embalmers, funeral directors, etc)?
      • One concern is having the”How was your day? discussion. Is this any different than couples that have vastly different professions?
      • As your younger self, would you have dated someone that had a career in death?
  • A Topic: How to Deal With Exes?
    • I went to my last wedding of this year and it was a big one. While it was generally a good and happy time for everyone, a by-product of big weddings is that there’s bound to be at least some beef when there’s that many people. Even though it didn’t necessarily cause any drama that night (thankfully), there were some interesting discussions the morning after.
      • Have you ever had to deal with a situation where you were forced to be around your ex for the sake of another friend?
      • Have you ever bailed on a friend because you didn’t want to deal with your ex?
      • What do you think is the best way to deal with a situation like that (i.e. do you suck it up and say hi and call a truce, or just avoid her the whole night)?
  • R Topic: The Importance of Partner Reassurance in a Relationship
    • Ayesha Curry has been getting negative feedback because of the comment that she has not received any male attention for the past 10 years. Although, her husband, Stephen Curry, seems to get a lot of attention from female groupies. The discussion I propose to the group is the importance of a partner’s reassurance in a relationship.
      • Do you feel more men or women need reassurance in a long-term relationship? Why or Why not?
        • Do you think this is different in LGBTQ or inanimate relationships?
      • Do you feel the person who does not get the reassurance in the relationship has the right to be insecure if this need are not met?
      • If both partners, had an equal amount of sexual appeal and reassurance from their significant other, would it still be an issue with either gender?
      • Do you think reassurance is necessary to have a stable and health relationship in the long-run?
  • Resource Reads:

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

Shuffle Around Life: Chapter 11 (4, 10, 2) and Knowledge Part 4, Series Finale

What’s up Shuffle Around Life readers got a bit sick this weekend hence the delay of this article but let’s get into it!

 

Several things to reference before we get started:

For those who wanted to learn the origins of this series, I highly, HIGHLY suggest you start from the beginning when it was the TRP Single Life” with Part One listed here.

Second, if you enjoy the deviation of article series check out the Dating App Tip Series (DAT TRP) by starting here.

As mentioned in the previous article is the beginning of the Knowledge Series, we first start with the topic of “Knowing” and what it means to research and “Know” what to do next, if you want a recap, you can start here.

***

Think of every single thing in existence in this world, what do they all have in common? They all started from nothing and became something. Your favorite clothing brand, video game, food, and/or drink. Someone one day had the courage, audacity, and tenacity to build something from scratch. The world as they knew, was no longer acceptable and they wanted to make a difference. This isn’t anything new under the sun and if you’ve been keeping up with the world (and our podcasts episodes) we’re always one step closer to innovation. Working in technology and restaurants has always committed these types of values to me but there’s one element, that will always be a dream, that is mastery.

You see a lot of people have a strange relationship with mastery, in fact we prefaced this things in Season 2, Episode 35 we centered this discussion of perfection. It’s a balancing act for everyone involved and one notable figure Sushi Chef Jiro, embraces this constant struggle of perfection to achieve a new level in his art of sushi making. While it’s healthy to have ambitious goals, sometimes it can lead to unreasonable expectations.

“If you think about it, I don’t know anyone, (Absolutely anyone) who is perfect (and consistently perfect) every single day and in every single way. Do you?”

It’s insanity, to attempt to live that kind of lifestyle. And yet, lots of people it use it as a litmus to achieve what they want in their lifetimes. In the tech world, people use algorithms and data to figure out “proactively” what you want as an individual consumer (or technology buyer). But my argument is, if you didn’t have any data to begin with your vision of “proactive strategies” are futile. You need evidence of “reacting” to something before “proactively reacting” to something in the future. I speak on this diatribe because I hope more people who come from a similar background as I do, realize this in the long-run.

You see to me, the idea of mastery doesn’t fall in line with Jiro or the tech world’s unreasonable expectation (algorithmic 3.0 models defining human consumerism down to the a granular detail).

“Mastery is all about a reasonable pursuit of knowledge at a healthy pace.”

You can go on instagram and everyone who strives about business talks about “Hustle” and “Grind 5-10 years to enjoy the rest of your life.” Let’s be real here, not everyone will grind and everyone who’s been about the grind (has probably done more than 5-10 years to achieve financial freedom/success). The college admissions scandal by celebrities is a primary example, of why not everyone cannot achieve their lofty goals in the same amount of time…

via GIPHY

The same people who got into these skills had the resources they needed to succeed. Which also means those of us who didn’t have those resources applying to universities, had to work 2x, 3x, or even 10x harder. You see, it’s all unreasonable but this is the reality of life, it isn’t fair and a lot of times it can be frustrating. This is why I propose mastery as pursuing knowledge at a healthy pace, your pace isn’t the same as mine and it can burn someone out. There are things, I know and understand more than you do (and vice-versa). Even at a time, where one can easily attain knowledge through the means of a simple google query. A lot of times, this knowledge isn’t always applicable and only has little to no impact.

I’ll use the cooking example again, for a lot of you cooking ravioli is pretty elementary. However for those who take it a step up a notch cooking pasta with an different identity (like a reverse ravioli; Liquid outside, solids inside) is an entirely abstract (or foreign) concept. At the moment, I do not work in the restaurant industry therefore having the knowledge of this recipe, is nice but unnecessary. It isn’t applicable to my current line of work (tech) and I’m not trying to make a new dish to get famous off of. For those that do work in the restaurant industry and are trying to make a name for themselves, this recipe (is one of many key) components as a new foundation of knowledge for modern gastronomy. This idea of mastery, can only be accomplished if you idea two key things:

  1. You know (deep down) what you’re truly good at and you want to strive at it
  2. You don’t mind dedicating a good amount of your time and energy, no matter what’s going on around you

When it comes to these two key traits, for myself that’s always been the struggle for me to discover for myself. I’m good at a lot of different things, but I’m not Michael Jordan status at one particular thing and I believe that’s what a lot of people find difficult in this journey of life. Some may find their “Natural strength” or ” God-gifted talent” easily, whereas others may take their whole lives. If you’re like me, just know you aren’t alone. Whatever the time you’ll take, just know that eventually you’ll understand what it is you’re meant to contribute to this world. Just like this woman who’s fully aware of her body….

via GIPHY

 

Thanks for reading and next week we’ll return to some other updates in the pipeline. Cheers!

 

Shuffle Around Life: Chapter 10 (8, A, Q): Clean Up and Knowledge Series Part 3

What’s up everyone reading the Shuffle Around Life!

Several things to reference before we get started:

For those who wanted to learn the origins of this series, I highly, HIGHLY suggest you start from the beginning when it was the TRP Single Life” with Part One listed here.

Second, if you enjoy the deviation of article series check out the Dating App Series by starting here.

As mentioned in the previous article is the beginning of the Knowledge Series, we first start with the topic of “Knowing” and what it means to research and “Know” what to do next, if you want a recap, you can start here.

And now, onto the topic on hand!

***

So we already covered the first two elements described so you’re probably wondering why separate refinement from execution and mastery? Well for starters, you have to go back to my previous example about cooking. You see majority of the people in the world, can follow the first two steps. However this 3rd step is probably more relevant to those who enjoy the hobby of cooking at home, outdoors, or professionally (fine dining, catering, etc.) The great thing about refinement is finding your personal groove (by that I mean tempo), nobody can replicate this groove for this task because some people do things differently compared to others. For instance, my writing style and how I space out writing this series would be different compared to John and Drey (my other co-hosts of the podcast).

Their personal tone (and storytelling ability) is vastly different you can see examples of this here (by John) and here (by Drey). You can ever go further with this and listen in on the storytelling set by one my favorite Marketers Seth Godin, who created the Akimbo podcast about the applications of business, the intricacies of creativity, and how it’s applied to the world at-large. You see, although we started doing storytelling here on the TRP for the past year, Mr. Godin has been doing it for several decades. His verbal acuity when describing social phenomenon is what sets him apart from many other marketers in the game. This isn’t something that can be built overnight, this can only be done through constant trial and error of execution.

However that’s not to take away from my colleagues and their personal skills of refinement. Drey comes from a similar background and every week when recording the podcast, he uses his audio palate to adjust and present our episodes from a clean canvas into a finished product. This spills over into his DJ’ing, Photography, and many more things that are set to his arsenal. John on the other hand, despite his out of pocket commentary, knows when to push people’s buttons (even when it gets too far). His trolling goes beyond the norm but it also reflects in his nature of refinement in creating the interactive videos, soundbits, and TRP memes you see on our Instagram account today.

Look around you in life, what are some of the things you (or your peers) are passionate about? Is it something a bit more artisanal, like woodwork? What about cosplays? Or even making the most *fire emoji* edits on a Youtube video? These are avenues in which we invest our time and energy, the constant iteration of anything we involve ourselves with. In corporations, when your company (and managers) set goals, there’s a quota set on your productivity and output but what mostly isn’t measured is effort. The blood, sweat, tears, and frustrations going into learning how to deliver (whatever it is that’s necessary).

“People in 2019, don’t care about effort enough “

Yet without this important element of the human condition, nothing would manifest or come to creation. Landmarks like the Sistine Chapel, Pyramid’s of Egypt, or something as epic as the Avengers Assembling…

via GIPHY

Wouldn’t be paramount to what we would consider as an epic blockbuster of a movie. Another way of looking at this is the ongoing work of a relationship. Is it enough to remember just your significant other’s birthday? Favorite Boba Drink? No, there will be times you will make hard calls (whether its for easy tasks or challenging ones) to create a more memorable experience for you (and your loved ones). We as a society have become more selfish in 2019, then ever before, don’t believe me? Look at your phone and all of the applications you downloaded. See the people who: follow you, retweet, share, comment, criticize, screenshot and etc. Your worth as a human being is only as good as the reputation that proceeds itself.

“Everything needs to have an ROI on the surface and yet the fundamental truth is human beings have conditions to crave unconditional desires.”

  • As an employer, I need loyal employees to succeed and build my business, otherwise I will fire them (unconditional loyalty)
  • As a co-worker, I need my colleagues to bust (or cover my ass) otherwise I would look down on them and gossip (unconditional support)
  • As a partner/S.O. in a relationship, I need them to pull their (financial and emotional) weight and make me happy otherwise I’ll threaten leave (unconditional love)

The idea of the ‘unconditional’ being possible is only through the low-risk efforts (and tasks) conducted by those willing; E.G. Giving someone anything because we have an abundance, pets comforting us in our time of need (when human interaction is empty), etc. We find ourselves yet again “refining” our definition(s) of core values, based on these “unconditional” scenarios and yet, we don’t invest much effort into this area of well-being. We’re all “too busy” making money, spending time with friends, traveling the world, to see what’s going on to the world at large.

As you can see, refinement isn’t just the application of constant effort and time invested. Refinement is, finding purpose in ourselves and expressing that purpose through the various tools and mediums we use in everyday life. Refinement should also be about consciousness of the world around us and tailoring ourselves to become better to one another (and our resources). Lastly, refinement is a constant variable (like time) because you’ll never know when one day, you can become: a work of art, a glorified war hero, or to be remembered for something greater…

via GIPHY

To Be Continued….