Scared To Date, Cheating On Husband, Date Like A Man – S3E69

Scared To Date, Cheating On Husband, Date Like A Man

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Podcast episode 69 is titled Scared To Date, Cheating On Husband, Date Like A Man. TheRelationshiPodcast gives advice to people that write in. The big disclaimer is that they did not write in to us. Yes, we will be giving our 2-cents on all your love problems whether you like it or not. Doctor Ryan, Drey, and John are in the building.

Scared To Date, Cheating On Husband, Date Like A Man Outline

  • J Topic: I’m Around A Lot Of Women
    • Summary: Not sure about dating and everything else.
    • Question: Should I eliminate dating completely?
    • Submitted by: Derby Girl
  • A Topic: I Want To Cheat On My Husband
    • Summary: I am married, but I want to be with my ex.
    • Question: Should I work it out or do what I want?
    • Submitted by: What I Want
  • R Topic: They Say I Date Like A Guy
    • Summary: People have told me that I date like a man.
    • Question: What is this notion that a woman would “think like a man”?
    • Submitted by: Seeking Emotionally Stable Lumberjack
  • Resource Reads:

S3.E69 will be the last episode by the TRP. Thank you for taking the time to support us and listen to our episodes. I hope you were able to get something valuable from our content; the very most a good laugh. Drey, John, and Ryan wish you the best in life and your relationships. Thank you again for your support.

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

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This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

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Modern Morals, Would You Rather, Wedding Traditions – S3E67

Modern Morals, Would You Rather, Wedding Traditions

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Podcast episode 67 is titled Modern Morals, Would You Rather, Wedding Traditions. I discuss people’s view on morals today, Drey runs through some “Would You Rather …” relationship scenarios, and Ryan speaks on wedding traditions.

Modern Morals, Would You Rather, Wedding Traditions Outline

  • J Topic: Public Opinion on Morals Today
    • I was reading an article from the Pew Research Center on modern morals (A Barometer Of Modern Morals). Pew Research Center took a surveyed on 10 behaviors to determine if it was morally wrong. I will only focus on 3 of them.
    • Married people having an affair.
      • Morally wrong: 88%
      • Morally acceptable: 3%
      • Not a moral issue: 7%
      • Depends: 1%
      • Don’t know: 1%
      • Q1 Any surprises here?
      • Q2 Would these results differ if the person was separated?
    • Telling a lie to spare someone’s feelings
      • Morally wrong: 43%
      • Morally acceptable: 23%
      • Not a moral issue: 26%
      • Depends: 6%
      • Don’t know: 2%
      • Q1 Any surprises here?
      • Q2 Any scenarios that you think it would be morally acceptable to lie?
    • Sex between unmarried adults
      • Morally wrong: 35%
      • Morally acceptable: 22%
      • Not a moral issue: 37%
      • Depends: 2%
      • Don’t know: 4%
      • Q1 Any surprises here?
      • Q2 Does anybody really care anymore if people are unmarried and fornicating?
  • A Topic: Would You Rather …
    • Last weeks episode was dark so I thought we should do a fun and lighthearted one. When I’m drinking with my friends, we love playing “Would you rather…” It’s simply a game where you come up with a hard hypothetical decision and ask your friends what they would do in that situation. It’s not only a fun game, but you learn a lot about the people that you play with. You see how they think and what they prioritize. In the game, you have to choose 1 of the answers and give your explanation as to why you chose that way.
      • Would you rather …
        • Be in a bad relationship for the rest of your life, or never have another partner again for the rest of your life?
        • Have a jealous partner that is willing to be your complete sugar mama, or have a trusting partner that you share all responsibilities with 50/50?
        • Date attractive but stupid or unattractive but intelligent? By unattractive, I simply mean someone that you are 0% attracted to.
        • Find true love, or find a suitcase with $20M?
  • R Topic: A Variety of Wedding Traditions
    • For those of you who saw the IG stories, Kundai (friend of the Podcast and guest host on our Facebook Dating Episode) now getting ready to get married. Being the best man, I wanted to prepare and see if there were any wedding rituals people do today (besides the bachelor/bachelorette party of course covered in this episode) and here’s what I came up with.
    • What type of wedding traditions are important in your culture?
    • What’s the coolest (and/or weirdest) wedding tradition you’ve been apart of?
    • What’s one traditional wedding tradition you’d change?
  • Resource Reads:

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

Understanding, Jealousy, Gaslighting – S3E66

Understanding, Jealousy, Gaslighting

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Podcast episode 66 is titled Understanding, Jealousy, Gaslighting. I debate if understanding is more important than communication, Andrey wants to get into a deeper depth on jealousy, and Ryan wants to explore gaslighting.

Understanding, Jealousy, Gaslighting Outline

  • J Topic: Is Understanding More Important Than Communication?
    • I saw one of those social media posts the other day that made me think about this topic. I could not find it again, but basically it said that understanding is more important than communication in relationships. You can communicate with someone frequently, but sometimes people just don’t get it; they don’t understand. I’m sure some of you have encountered this before in personal relationships or worked related situations.
    • A prime example of this is the situation with Moby and Natalie Portman. Moby came out with a book “Then It Fell Apart.” In the book, Moby asserted that he dated Natalie. However, she vehemently denies this. Natalie stated  that they hung out a few times, but never dated.
    • So was Moby friendzoned in this situation? The debate between “dated” vs “we hung out.”
    • Do you think that understanding is more important than communication in relationships?
    • The flipside of this is maybe one person is doing a poor job of effectively communicating what they need. Do you guys have any suggestions on how one can effectively tell someone what they need?
  • A Topic: I Do Not Think You Are Ready For This Jelly.
    • I want to follow up on last week’s discussion. We touched very briefly on jealousy and it seemed like we had differing opinions on what jealousy is and how acceptable it is. So I came up with a few more questions to see if we can cover a little more ground.
      • One of the blogs on the dating site, Zoosk, defines jealousy as the fear of losing something, while envy is the desire to have something that someone else has. Would you agree with this definition? Why or why not?
      • In last week’s episode, I mentioned that jealousy is rooted in insecurity. Do you believe that’s the case or are there some situations where jealousy is reasonable?
      • Is there any advice you would give to someone who knows they’re the jealous type but wants to stop?
  • R Topic: What Should I Do About Gaslighting?
    • Gaslighting is a frequently searched term on Google Trends. Gaslighting is manipulating someone psychologically by questioning their own sanity. I personally have not heard of this term until most recently. So after doing some reading and reflecting, I wanted the rest of the team to chime in on this topic:
      • Have you ever experienced gaslighting?
      • Why does it seem that men gaslight women than the opposite?
      • How would you deal with someone who gaslights you in the workforce?
  • Resource Reads:

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

Bad Girls, Relationship Myths, Friendship Spectrum – S3E65

Bad Girls, Relationship Myths, Friendship Spectrum

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Podcast episode 65 is titled Bad Girls, Relationship Myths, Friendship Spectrum. I want to discuss why some guys think bad girls are desirable, Andrey focuses on relationship myths, and Ryan explores the friendship spectrum.

Bad Girls, Relationship Myths, Friendship Spectrum Outline

  • J Topic: Why Do Men Pick The Bad Girls?
    • I was reading the article 11 Reasons Why Men Never Pick The Good Girl And Why They Should. We will not be covering all 11, but I wanted to focus on the 3 that I think are the main reasons men do this.
      • Men Conflate “Bad” With Sexy (#1)
        • In your experience, do you agree or disagree?
        • To flip it around, is this why women pick bad guys?
      • Bad Girls Are Usually Better In Bed (#3)
        • In your experience, do you agree or disagree?
        • To flip it around, is this why women pick bad guys?
      • Good Girls Can Come Off As Bland (#5)
        • In your experience, do you agree or disagree?
        • To flip it around, is this why women pick bad guys?
  • A Topic: Relationship Myths
    • In our previous discussions, we uncovered a number of relationship myths and touched upon this topic back in S2E19 when we talked about relationship cliches. So I wanted to keep it really simple for this week and discuss some of the ones we have not talked about yet. With the following “myths,” I want you guys to say whether or not you think it’s a myth or if it’s actually true and why.
      • If you’re truly happy with your partner, you should not need to be close to anyone else.
      • Jealousy is a sign of true love and caring.
      • If partners really love each other, they know each other’s needs and feelings.
      • Having a child will strengthen your relationship or marriage.
  • R Topic: The Spectrum of Friendships
    • We covered this topic in Episode 4 & Episode 31, think of this discussion as an added bonus.  Prior to the advent of technology (especially Social Media), friendship was a bit more linear. Now that we have the world at our fingertips, we have all kinds of friends (for all kinds of genders and lifestyles in between). Let’s talk about them and find out if we’re all on the same page!
      • According to Aristotle we have 3 types of friendships:
        • Utility – of need/activity
        • Pleasure – intimacy
        • Good – mutual admiration/respect
      • Which of these three do you have the most in your life right now?
          • Of the three, which do you think is the most important to have?
      • In 2015, Mobinah Ahmad from Sydney, Australia created the Friendship-Acquaintance 6 Stage Theory listed here. Do you agree with her theory, why or why not?
      • Many articles on the internet suggest that different types of friendships men have vs. what women have. Are there any key differences between gender?
        • How about the LGBTQ community, is this any different?
  • Resource Reads:

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

Shuffle Around Life: Chapter 12 (A, K, Q): Learning to Say NO (a tight rope perspective) When Necessary

Hello TRP Shuffle Around Life Readers!

Here’s something that’s been on my mind for a while and needed to vent about this and it’s about the importance of Saying No, to things.

You see in recent years, even with my “transition” there are things I do outside of writing columns, conducting analysis, troubleshooting and more on the TRP like everyone else. One thing that’s made me very certain is an essential life skill is SAYING NO WHEN NECESSARY.

What do I mean for this?

Everyone is familiar with the concept of time and how it’s probably the single most valuable asset you have as a human being. Let’s break down how this looks….

The breakdown will be by day, year, and week (all adhering within a 24 hour period):

In a Single Day:

  • 86400 Seconds
  • 1440 Minutes
  • 24 Hours

In a Single Week (7x the values):

  • 604800 Seconds
  • 10080 Minutes
  • 168 Hours
  • 7 Days

In a Single Year: (52x previous values):

  • 31,449,600 Seconds
  • 524, 160 Minutes
  • 8,736 Hours
  • 365 Days* (366, give or take a day or two because of leap year and axial tilt/speed)
  • 52 Weeks
  • 12 Months
  • 1 Year

***

*(Reading this post will probably take 2-3 minutes at most and for that, I am truly grateful for you sharing your time with me)

All these increments should give you an idea of how much time is so valuable. And yet, with everything going on in your daily life you have to wonder, is there really time to do everything you ever wanted in your lifetime? The answer is no, NO, no, NO. You will be pulled in all kinds of directions and a lot of times, what you will fulfill for one party will not make the other happy.

Recently, I’ve been going through that, working on this podcast, working on another side project, handling property management, and then of course career hunting. All of these balls juggling in the air, the answer should be relatively simple, focus on the things that matter to you (and are a priority). Furthermore, the more pragmatic approach is, focus on things that have an ROI (personal, professional, emotional, or financial). The problem with this is what you may think is ROI , people will ALWAYS DISAGREE WITH YOUR PRIORITIES and you deem is ROI. They will make their case and claim why their priorities are much more important than your own. THEY WILL NOT CARE, REMAIN SELFISH, AND CAN ONLY LOOK AT THINGS OBJECTIVELY WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN FOR THEM.

For those who see it in this matter, I say a big FUCK YOU. I’ve always tried to understand it from the other side of the picture. In fact, if tomorrow weren’t guaranteed and any of my colleagues or friends (can’t move forward with me). I will not hold them to it walking away and diverting on what’s important to them, that’s just a fact of life.

Do you need money to support yourself but your passion project isn’t doing shit for you?

Take a step back and take the time needed to re-evaluate, before jumping back on the horse.

Are you slammed at work in that you don’t have time to do any creative stuff on the side?

Don’t trip, recharge and come back when you’re ready. The difference between working for a paycheck versus working for a passion, is the willingness to put in as much as you can even without stability.

However for those I didn’t mean to hurt (or de-prioritize) and had to say NO to, I am deeply Sorry. It was never an easy option and quite frankly if it were, then chances are I don’t care about you as much as you think I do.

Majority of the time, people would rather do passion work that provides a sense of security in their lifestyle (and perception(s)) in society. However majority of the world, doesn’t have that luxury to exercise such an approach. People take unstable jobs just to pay the bills. Whereas the wealthiest individuals own as much as half of the poorest of the entire world’s population.

Overall, people should be more understanding of each other’s time and priorities in one’s life. When you do realize this need for compassion, you’ll realize that even your impact in the world is but a millimeter of a Domino in the entire universe’s history of existence.

-RM

Dating Death, Dealing With An Ex, Partner Reassurance – S3E63

Dating Death, Dealing With An Ex, Partner Reassurance

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Welcome to episode 63! In podcast episode 63, I want to discuss relationships with people in the industry of death, Andrey dives into dealing with your exes, and Ryan wants to talk about partner reassurance.

Dating Death, Dealing With An Ex, Partner Reassurance Outline

  • J Topic: Dating Someone In The Business Of Death
    • In episode 62, Ryan discussed Creepy Jobs. It made me think about people who work in these industries. What is their dating life like compared to everyone else? Is it really that much different?
      • How much of a concern should another person’s career be if you want to date them?
      • Do you think there is a misconception about people that work with death (morticians, embalmers, funeral directors, etc)?
      • One concern is having the”How was your day? discussion. Is this any different than couples that have vastly different professions?
      • As your younger self, would you have dated someone that had a career in death?
  • A Topic: How to Deal With Exes?
    • I went to my last wedding of this year and it was a big one. While it was generally a good and happy time for everyone, a by-product of big weddings is that there’s bound to be at least some beef when there’s that many people. Even though it didn’t necessarily cause any drama that night (thankfully), there were some interesting discussions the morning after.
      • Have you ever had to deal with a situation where you were forced to be around your ex for the sake of another friend?
      • Have you ever bailed on a friend because you didn’t want to deal with your ex?
      • What do you think is the best way to deal with a situation like that (i.e. do you suck it up and say hi and call a truce, or just avoid her the whole night)?
  • R Topic: The Importance of Partner Reassurance in a Relationship
    • Ayesha Curry has been getting negative feedback because of the comment that she has not received any male attention for the past 10 years. Although, her husband, Stephen Curry, seems to get a lot of attention from female groupies. The discussion I propose to the group is the importance of a partner’s reassurance in a relationship.
      • Do you feel more men or women need reassurance in a long-term relationship? Why or Why not?
        • Do you think this is different in LGBTQ or inanimate relationships?
      • Do you feel the person who does not get the reassurance in the relationship has the right to be insecure if this need are not met?
      • If both partners, had an equal amount of sexual appeal and reassurance from their significant other, would it still be an issue with either gender?
      • Do you think reassurance is necessary to have a stable and health relationship in the long-run?
  • Resource Reads:

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

Relationship Age Gap, BeautifulPeople.com, Creepy Jobs – S3E62

Relationship Age Gap, BeautifulPeople.com, Creepy Jobs

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Welcome to episode 62! In this episode, I focus on relationship age gaps, Andrey discusses an exclusive dating club. and Ryan explores weird (and/or creepy) career options.

Relationship Age Gap, BeautifulPeople.com, Creepy Jobs Outline

  • J Topic: Let’s Talk About The Relationship Age Gap
    • Should age matter between 2 consenting adults?
    • What about relationships between a minor and adult?
      • Is there a difference between couples that are 17 and 18  vs. 17 and 40 year old?
    • Why is there stigma between men and women?
      • Men dating younger women vs. Women dating younger men
    • Men typically date younger for fertility.
      • Is this still a truthful statement today?
      • Will this always be true?
    • Women date older men for resources.
      • Will this always be true?
      • Since the wage gap is getting smaller between the sexes, how likely is this going to be true in the future?
  • A Topic: Beautifulpeople.com
    • Beautifulpeople.com has been around since 2002, but the New York Post broke the news on this controversial dating site yesterday. To add your profile to this site, you have to get voted in by the users. If you don’t make the cut, then you simply can’t be a part of this exclusive dating site.
      • What are your initial thoughts and reactions?
    • The required traits are all completely aesthetic: bad teeth, overweight, too effeminate, etc.
      • Assuming that you would qualify for the site, would this be something you would join?
    • They accept roughly only 15% of applicants, and even the founder, Greg Hodge, was stripped of his account last year for not being “hot” enough. Because of this, the founder then built in a feature that lets people know why they go rejected and offer suggestions on what to get corrected through plastic surgery.
      • Is there anything that you wouldn’t mind getting plastic surgery on yourself?
      • Would you date someone that has had plastic surgery done?
    • I’ve been joining a few “exclusive” groups on FB recently, like the ones where you have to submit an application. It’s mainly to weed out people who know nothing about the subject matter that the group’s about. It seems to help and the discussions tend to be pretty focused and are full of useful information. So I’m thinking, having requirements itself isn’t a bad thing.
      • If you could make an exclusive dating site, what requirements would you put for applicants?
  • R Topic:  Creepy Jobs In Society
    • We talk a lot about work but what people don’t realize is the diversity of jobs out there. While in transition for my next career move, I wanted to see what was out there and here’s what I uncovered and wanted to get you guys’ thoughts on the matter.
      • What’s the creepiest (or weirdest) job you have ever partaken in?
      • Based on this list, what is the most creepy?
        • Bomb Technician
        • Crab Fisherman
        • Crime Scene Cleaners
        • Entomologist
        • Epidemiologist
        • Forensic Psychologist
        • Herpetologist
        • Medical Laboratory Technologist
        • Pathologist
        • Phlebotomist
        • Police Diver
        • Psychiatric Ward Attendant
        • Steeplejack
        • Taxidermist
        • Toxicologist
      • How about the least creepy?
      • Based on gender stereotypes more men are expected to take up these roles vs. women, do you think this is still the case in 2019?
  • Resource Reads:

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

Dating Coaches, Clinginess, Delaying Family – S3E60

Dating Coaches, Clinginess, Delaying Family

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The TRP team decided to change the format of our episodes moving forward. This is so each of us gets a chance to talk about a topic that is important to each of us. Plus, this gives our listeners a chance to hear a variety of topics. Sometimes the variety of life is better, right? Today, we discuss dating coaches, clinginess, and delaying family.

Dating Coaches, Clinginess, Delaying Family Outline

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

What Piece of Advice Would TheRelationshiPodcast Offer? – S3E55

What Piece of Advice Would TheRelationshiPodcast Offer?

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In this episode, TheRelationshiPodcast gives advice to people that write in. The big disclaimer is that they did not write in to us. Yes, we will be giving our 2-cents on all your love problems whether you like it or not. Doctor Ryan, Drey, and John are in the building.

What Piece of Advice Would TheRelationshiPodcast Offer? Outline

  • He Turned Into A Pen Pal
      • Summary: Hot intense relationship slowly fizzles.
      • Question: Where does this go from here?
      • Submitted by: Pen pals
  • One Thing Led To Another …
      • Summary: First sexual experience with a friend.
      • Question: Did I ruin a good friendship by sleeping with him?
      • Submitted by: Poked The Bear
  • I Don’t Wish Them The Best
      • Summary: Did so much for him and he leaves me.
      • Question: Is it bad of me to be extremely bitter about this breakup?
      • Submitted by: Bitter
  • I Kissed My Friend’s Boyfriend
      • Summary: I kissed my friends boyfriend.
      • Question: What do I do now?
      • Submitted by: Idiotic Girl
  • Resource Reads:

If you want to be a guest on TheRelationshiPodcast please send us an e-mail.

You should binge on previous episodes of TheRelationshiPodcast. Start from Season 1 (Episode 1). LISTEN NOW.

FacebookTRP Patreon

This is the NON-SALTY Disclaimer: ‘We at The Relationship Podcast do not discriminate based on race, sex, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliate, religion, or creed. These opinions are solely based on our own unique experiences; our opinions are not the rule. We are always open to EVERYONE’S personal life experiences and opinions. At the end of the day, we can always agree to disagree. Please enjoy the podcast.”

Shuffle Around Life: Chapter 6 (Q, 7, 7), The Real TRP Single Life Ending and Transitional Period

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello TRP crew, it’s been a hot minute. Since the past couple of podcast episodes, I’ve been alluding to this idea of being happy with someone new. In the original series, I thought the person I met earlier, would be the one I would build a relationship with. Sadly, it was a false positive and like most video games they usually have a bad ending and a “true ending.” I’m now presenting you the events leading to the true ending of the Single Life (and I guess the revised expanded version of the Shuffle Around Life)…

*September 2018*

I wrote what would’ve been the final chapter of the TRP Single Life. Started dating someone, I thought I could build a relationship with. We did the usual stuff like any couple, discuss work, had dinner dates, and contemplated about the future. There were moments where all this stuff, felt very comfortable. On autumn afternoon after a particular festival we parted ways. I felt a bit weird about this recent meetup, maybe it was the “dating spider sense” people usually have before the inevitable break up occurs.

One day of not talking turned into two, then a week, and eventually almost two months. I was ghosted on, confused, and literally didn’t know what to say or feel. I shouldn’t be surprised, many of the previous dates left with a similar impression. The outcome of the relationship and the impact it had on my thinking lingered for a bit. I thought to myself. “How was this any different?” It gave me a lot to think about and my professional life also started competing in my daily priorities….

*October 2018/November 2018*

Between Halloween to the First of November was a strange time. I knew I was back in the market (single once more) we had done a few more episodes, one on Indecisiveness and the other on the 5 Love Languages. While finishing production on these episodes, it got me thinking of the elements in this last one that was full of nonsense. Out of nowhere a phone call rung frantically one evening, I didn’t recognize the number and let it go to voicemail. It was her “The Fake Ending aka The Ghoster” she nonchalantly reintroduced herself and began going on a diatribe about how she thought about this and that, because of some “false positive” test results she got due to her work environment issues and more. I refused to entertain it, I merely responded, “You didn’t give me the time of day and I’m over it.” I blocked her number, deleted all of the pictures and moved on with my life.

For the first time, in a while I was ready to give up the search completely. I looked over contingency plans, in the event certain milestone events didn’t happen in my life. It was time to go to Plan C and so it began, in the meantime during my professional life, everything was busier than ever…

*November 2018-December 2018*

My birthday occurred, had a nice little getaway to the East Coast, hung out with friends and worked through the holidays. It was at this moment, I began to let go of any expectation settling down. There were more important things to worry about and the next several months were a good indicator of that. After Christmas and well into the New Year one of the things, I began to think more about was my immediate future. Whether or not living in my current place was the way to go or I needed to move elsewhere. Either way these weren’t easy decisions and the next chapter of my life proved to be the most difficult (and ambiguous one) to live up after just yet…

*January 2019*

Literally four months after, I decided to slowly ease my way back into the dating world once more, going through the motions. At this point when you reach your 30s, dating priorities shift for many people. You’re over the whole idea of chasing the ideal mate, you have a bit more practicality. As a guy, you’re literally at in the range of folks who are starting to realize who they are personally and professionally. Mid 20s-Mid 30s, people are also looking to settle down and not try to bog down with the whole mentality of “playing games.” Everyone is a bit more aggressive in their dating search (especially those who desire kids), this isn’t something to be taken lightly because of the biological factors that come into play. More people also start giving less fucks, because you’re too tired to please everyone and you want to be content for yourself (and those supportive around you). I was content and I had a somewhat steady life, that is until one fateful night. It started out like any other night, got home from work, was watching Youtube and then a possibility to meet someone new. Sure enough, one hour got into two and the rest of the evening flew by….

When date #2 came around, things were a bit more different. The stakes felt higher and the emotions ran deep (no this isn’t a euphemism for sex John in case you’re reading) and slowly I realize this is what it feels like to truly find someone you’re compatible with. At the moment, I didn’t know what else to expect but to go with the flow in the chain of events and afterwards…

*Fast Forward to Present Day*

We’re both pretty happy with one another, we’ve discussed a lot in the short amount of time and have taken strides to getting to know each other on a deeper and more emotional level as each day passes. It still feels pretty surreal looking back after everything. This is only the beginning and within the past four months so much has shifted. She’s been quite the supportive lady and has helped me built a new definition of what an adult foundation would look like. We have many more days/weeks/years, to learn about one another but if there’s one thing I’m grateful for, it’s this second opportunity to make things work. Thank you sweetie for everything that you do and I looking forward to learning and growing with you, each and every step of the way.

-R.M.