Shuffle Around Life: Chapter 5 (9, 4, J), 2019 opener and Results of IG Story Poll

What’s up everyone! So now that we covered two of the three Dating Apps (OkCupid and Hinge), you’re probably wondering, what’s the third? Well, if you subscribe to us by providing your email here (on the mid-flap of our homepage):

 

You’ll get some bonus DATs, Q&As, and additional content that’s not usually posted on our website. Anyway to go back on topic, the start of 2019 has been quite the challenge for me. Achieving work-life balance is much tougher now than it was in previous years. Otherwise, I don’t know what will be the outcome but I’ll stay positive and take it a day at a time.

***

The more, I think about it, the more I’m curious to learn about those who came before me (John get your mind out of the gutter), in the sense of how much one’s life was determined by hardwork/grit vs. a lucky breakĀ which steered the course of their personal lives. This is a key question that Guy Raz poses to so many successful entrepreneurs from all walks of life, in the NPR series of How I Built This.

Anyway, non-professional development areas aside. Dating has also become so strange (or peculiar) in 2019. Compared to the last three years, there hasn’t been as many prospects right from the jump. This has led me to believe because I am approaching the age where many people are beginning to settle down (with an ideal mate or the possibility of having kids and more). This has also transpired in one of my would-be dating prospects, meet Lana (named change for anonymity sake). Lana and I, like many others on a dating app have chatted back and forth intermittently for a few weeks. However at a certain point Lana decides to put some stakes in the ground to show her stance as well as her intent of our first encounter… (this transcription is from my actual correspondence)

Me: So when are you free?
Her: *provides time/date*
Me: Great! Any spots in mind?
Her: How about *yelps here*?
Me: This works for me.
Her: I’m trying to get this dating thing going and take out the fluff chat stuff…
Me: Hm ok dating automation…. with a rigid set of filter questions too?
Her: Probably! But let’s go with the flow it could be practice for potential other matches!
Me: So Later in the evening….
… (more chat and then)
Her: I’m also planning to meet as casual as possible.

(let’s pause right here).

Let’s make it clear, that I’m all for a chill date, in fact I welcome it. However prior to this specific moment of correspondence, the feeling I got of interest (and willingness to meet) in having a nice first date spiraled into nothingness. For context, when we “chatted” on the app and exchange pleasantries, everything was peachy. But as soon as I got her number, things started becoming cut and dry (like the Sahara desert) and her initial efforts of wanting to get to know me more, was practically non-existent. As she pulled a 180, on her gauge of interests which also led me to believe three possibilities:

  1. She was probably disappointed something didn’t work out with a different user on the app, prior to meeting me, which changed the mood and expectations of meeting m.
  2. She met someone whom she had more interests in, after chatting with me and now decided the “Go with the flow” approach because it wouldn’t hurt to meet another new person.
  3. She set those expectations from the jump because historically the “dating fluff” she experienced didn’t give her the results she wanted.

This is a very common dynamic because relationships on Dating Apps are not only superfluous (or in John’s mind, super fluid), but also fleeting with a timed encounter.

Now, you’re also probably thinking to yourself… Are you serious? You’re thinking way too hard on this. Well, I had a similar gut reaction in this article of The Single Life and I ignored my gut reaction (and felt jipped) on my experience this with the last minute plans with Date #9.

Gut reactions are a clear sign that you may need to hold off interest (or the possibility of entertaining) someone in your life. These red flags can help you avoid certain toxic situations, incompatible people, and overall general bad vibes. So, before I jumped the gun, I did decide to post on IG (I had an inkling, as to who was the first responded, *cough*John50) but over time other people weighed in and here are the results:

So, what was the decision on my part? I decided to cancel the date, I know big surprised. Usually I would go for it but I wanted to cut my losses and not waste my time. It’s selfish but it’s 2019, new year… New Me.

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