“As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life—and travel—leaves marks on you. Most the time, those marks—on your body or your heart—are beautiful. Often, though, they hurt.” –Anthony Bourdain
“If you’re as honest and fair as you can be, not only in business but in life, things will work out. I hope that people remember me not just as a good businesswoman but as a great friend—and a heck of a lot of fun.” –Kate Spade
“Life’s a game made for everyone and love is the prize. So wake me up when it’s all over – when I’m wiser and I’m older. All this time I was finding myself and I didn’t know I was lost.” –Avicii
People that know me see me as the happy, go-lucky kind of guy. Most people would be surprised that I am a survivor. When I was 17 years old, in high school, I went through a traumatic relationship break up. I was left feeling that I was not good enough to be loved by anyone. It led to depression and my attempt. I survived. Through my ordeal, I learned a great deal about myself, especially about my own self worth.
I Have A Purpose – “… you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small.”—Anthony Bourdain. I am not a practicing Christian, but I do believe there is a God. By all accounts, I should not have lived. Whether it was because of God’s grace or sheer luck, I am still here today. What I got from this experience is that I was meant to survive and there is a role for me in this life–it was not my time to go. I am still trying to figure out if there is a bigger purpose for me; other than be a good son, brother, friend, and person. I’ll let you know if I determine that, but I am content with my purpose now. We all have a purpose in this life and you should never forget that you do too.
I Matter – “Life’s a game made for everyone and love is the prize.” –Avicii. I have always been shy and lacked personal confidence. I have gotten better at being more social and believing in myself. I did not love myself enough at that time so I thought I did not matter; nobody would miss me if I was gone. Take a step back into your past and think about all the things that would not happened if you were taken out of the equation. It’s pretty amazing when you think about it, right? We are interlocked in this world and all serve a purpose in this master plan that is invisible to us. You and I are all small drops of water that fall into a pool; causing ripples that move throughout the water. You 100% matter.
I Will Be Okay – “If you’re as honest and fair as you can be … things will work out …”—Kate Spade. When you are younger, your world is very small; problems seem larger than they really are. This was the first obstacle in my life that I could not control in my favor and I was incapable of dealing with it. I chose to quit and failed. The universe basically told me that my time was not up and I needed to deal with this in order to grow as a person. Shockingly enough the world did not end for me; in more ways than one. Just know with every problem there is a solution to it. The solution may not be pleasant at the time, but nothing in life is ever easy. Personal growth occurs when you learn to overcome obstacles in life. 10 years later, I reached a good place with myself. Please remember there is nothing you cannot overcome. You will be okay at the end of the day.
Being able to believe that I [you] have a purpose, I [you] matter, and I [you] will be okay is always easy to say, but so much harder to make yourself believe. Trust me, it was difficult and something I am trying to master constantly. But, I survived and I want to believe everyone else can also. If I can stress anything, it’s that you are loved and deserve to be loved, and you were meant to be here. What really got me through the hardship was realizing that I did not want my mother to be without her son, sister without her brother, and friends without their friend. I knew I had a great family and friends and I did not want to lose those things. I can only imagine the pain of having to say goodbye to me so early.
Suicide is not a word that I like to ever use just because it reminds me of the dark place I was in. This is why I chose to minimize the usage of it in my column. I understand this is a touchy topic enlight of the passing of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade this month. If you are unable to cope with your struggles, please reach out and talk to somebody. I myself did not do this on my own; I spoke with family, friends, and professionals. If you are having thoughts of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) or go to SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for a list of additional resources. Remember that suicide is never the answer and you do matter in this world; I promise you that.
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