1.09 The Don’t Suck At Life: The Asian Bachelor

Last week, I hosted the Why We Are Taking So Long To Get Married In This Generation? episode. Ryan and Andrey had great responses and insights regarding why this generation is not in a rush.  I pretty much kept it low key so I thought this would be a great opportunity to speak regarding why I have maintained The Asian Bachelor status. It is not that complicated; it’s because I’m not ready.  I’ll elaborate on the specific reasons.

Freedom – I enjoy coming and going as I please without having to ask permission from anyone. If you guys don’t know already from the previous episodes, in my early 20s I focused on myself and stayed single for 10 years before dating again. I think that was a lasting psychological affect on me and the relationships I have now. When I am in a relationship, I feel constrained sometimes that I have to ask permission to do something. There are also moments when I just rather be by myself and not spend it with my partner. I’m just too use to doing whatever I wanted during my dating haitus.

Late Bloomer – In the Why We Are Taking So Long To Get Married In This Generation? episode, Andrey mentioned that he thought he did his 20s correctly; got the partying out of his system.  I spent my 20s focusing on attaining my Bachelors and Masters degrees. So I feel in my 30s and 40s that I’ve been catching up to my 20s; especially all the fun that I missed out on. This explains why I’m still doing The Asian Bachelor thing even though I have a girlfriend right now; maybe I’m Peter Pan.

Being The Good Son – I’m the male oldest so I have a obligation to take care of my mom as she gets older. I do stress about the financial responsibility of doing so. I worry often about how to balance out caring for her, having something for myself, and being able to finance a wedding, home, and security for my life partner. I’ve mentally dictated that it is more important to prioritize family before any potential spouse. I sometimes think that maybe it’s better if I just wait till my mom passes and then I will be financially able to get married.

Divorce – It’s terrible that I have to think about divorce and marriage in the same thought.  However, divorce is indeed a huge fear for me. I’ve known people that have gone through divorce, it’s well published in the media all the time, and my parents are no longer together. In The True Facts About Divorce In The US, it is stated that “Paul Amato, a top divorce rate researcher, believes that between 42% and 45% of marriages in the US will end in divorce …” So 58% to 55% of marriages will be success respectively. Those percentages do not look that great to me. I’m one of those guys that wants to stay happily married ONCE. If my dating life is an example, I’m fearful that my marriage life will lead to the same outcomes. Sometimes I see The Asian Bachelor life as the more viable option.

At the end of the day, these are my hang ups that I have to get through myself. Whether I will or not, only time can tell. It won’t be an easy road ahead, but I always believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I’ll eventually get married. I hope everyone finds that special person that they can love for the rest of their lives. Make sure you keep a fresh supply of roses because that lucky guy or gal will appreciate it once you give it to them.

I do not pretend to know all the answers in life. If you got some to share with me or would like to tell me your story, you can always email me at therelationshipodcast@gmail.com.  Don’t worry, I’m a huge advocate of Podcast Host/Listener confidentiality; I maybe able to learn something for myself.

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