I really like this picture, I wish I can take pictures just as good as you.
This week was crazy, I literally had three dates in the same week (after work) and now this was Date #4, what a hectic schedule (hence the delay with the most recent article). If you haven’t gotten caught up on the series you can review the entire archive here.
Anyway, the back story with this particular lady, we messaged each over for at least 2-3 weeks and our schedules never really lined up until this hectic week. Worked in Silicon Valley, software engineer, bright eyed, and family oriented. You’d think she has everything I want in a person, well that wasn’t really the case. One thing I’ve realized about myself is although I appreciate intellect in a woman (and believe me being a software engineer is nothing to scoff at). There are other items that are important to me, like drive, culture, and other similar values.
This is probably the first time, that I didn’t really care what would’ve been the outcome on this date. Whether we would end up as friends or lovers, I was completely fine with that. I guess when you meet genuine people who don’t have enough of that “spark” drives up your interest, you feel at peace. This peace almost broke the opportunity when she texted a few lines and took to offense:
Her: I would be such an Asshole if I said that…
Me: Well if you did, then I would say, peace out cunt. Exit stage right :p.
Her: Wow, I can’t believe you said that…
Me: Hey now, I was just kidding as well. You said it earlier.
Granted the messages afterwards were days after and lots of miscommunication could’ve occurred. People’s real personas through online dating don’t really transpire until you meet them in person. For the first time ever, I really just didn’t give a shit anymore about my personal filter. Majority of my life, I felt the need to hold my tongue because lord forbid, “Someone would get offended.” However as you grow older, you truly do have less “fucks” to give about life because its too unpredictable and can end in an instant. The day of, we finally met granted we still had an awkward air given our text exchange.
However we had a nice time and took a few photos along the coastline (including the portrait I took of her) and then grabbed Boba shortly after. We shared everything from short-term goals and new travel destinations. The only problem was for the first time in a while, I wasn’t really feeling it. I knew she was because of her body language but I kept wondering to myself, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I like a nice girl like her?”
Was it because I was a bit shallow and she didn’t look as good in person, as she did in the photos? Or, was this “Chemistry” thing really happening right now? Either way, I ended the date within an hour and dropped her off. As I drove home, I realized maybe you’re not meant for everyone because this chemistry is crucial and that “spark” (or “tinder”) is necessary to build that momentum. I came to the conclusion, that I didn’t mind ending as friends or seeing her for a second date but I unconsciously made up my mind. She texted me a few days later saying , “She’s taking a break from dating.” I guess not hearing from me frustrated her, I don’t blame her as I’m about to realize, the same thing was going to happen to me…