Single Guy Column and Date #1: “I called her the wrong name.”

Single guy problems we all had them. As probably one of the three hosts who’s actually single. I keep the other two entertained with my personal stories of the single life. I was a bit hesitant to put this aspect of my life out there but I figured it’s a new year and why not give it shot at least for the time being?

For Season 2, it’s time to up the ante a bit a become a bit more raw and open with my relationship experiences. Some of you may find this column helpful (or humorous), either way I hope it helps you with your journey in the complicated world of relationships.

***Date #1 (not really, more like a starting point for this series): Ms. Soylent***

For some of you who already know, I try to live a pretty active life and as a young working professional in Silicon Valley sometimes it’s hard to meet people. After being single and taking a break, I finally got back on the dating horse. One by one, each app reinstalled into my phone. It wasn’t until I got onto one of the apps that I got into some sort of “dating streak.”

One match became two, then three, ten, and it kept climbing. At this point of my life calendar tetris only applied to my daily work projects/operations. However now it slowly crept up into my personal calendar and it was a bit overwhelming. For some guys this shouldn’t be a problem in fact, I should be thankful for it. However I soon found myself getting caught up in a sticky situation…

One night on a dating app…

Me: Hey Forager (alias used to maintain privacy), let’s grab coffee sometime after coming back from your Singapore trip

(For context “Forager” was a different woman I messaged who went to Singapore/Maldives for business, but this woman was actually named was Soylent who was from Singapore but didn’t head there anytime soon).

Mistaken Forager: Um… you must’ve mixed me up with another woman… my name is Soylent.
Me: .
Me: ….
Me: I’ll fess up, yes I did mistaken you with another woman (Forager). I totally understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore Soylent that was out of line.

*Five minutes of text explaining myself*

Soylent: So, 1:00pm I’ll meet you here.
Me: Sounds good, see you there!

In case you were wondering…..

After doing our IG promo on a nearby street adjacent to Soylent’s rendezvous point, there she was. She looked alright, but a little different from the pictures (perhaps it was the casual clothes instead of the dolled up hair from her photos).

I told her lunch was on me, it was the least I can do (I’ve never mistaken a date’s name before, this was beyond embarrassing). Either way, we went to grab a casual lunch and just as mentioned in our recent episode the “Interrogation” began. It wasn’t so much an interrogation however but a simple tagging of vanilla questions,

“How’d you like growing up here?” “What inspired you to do this? etc.” Harmless to anyone being interviewed as a potential mate. She then opened up and mentioned why she followed through on her date. She wanted to be more open, feel more vulnerable and communicative. She acknowledged in her past she wasn’t very expressive and this was an important core value to her now. It made sense and I felt the same way, I reminded her that I appreciated she didn’t held it against me (messing up her name).

Over our talks however the interests began to wane on both sides of the table. We got to the breaking point, it became “Boring, repetitive nods, and exchanged furrowed glances as each answer was given.” I knew it wasn’t going to work and so did she, I walked her to the station and told her I appreciated her cordial nature. After sharing a bit more about my share of relationships, she left me with one piece of advice, “Not to give up, there are good women still out there.

Fleeting words, something someone else I knew once muttered to me before everything went to shit. As I bid my date adieu and I walked back towards my car. The biggest lesson here is appreciation of another unique human being. We get caught up in our “selfish priorities” that we forget who we deal with on the other side of the fence. Ever since this date, I make sure that any person I texted wasn’t called the “incorrect name.”

Your name is what makes you unique and special (as corny as that sounds), and it’s insulting when someone forsakes it (especially if they would become a potential partner).

“Good luck with your music and journey to becoming more open in your relationships, Ms. Soylent.”

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